In which I heed the Hermit’s call to turn inwards…
The Hermit’s card has been popping up in my readings with alarming frequency over recent weeks. It beckons me to turn inwards: to tune into myself and follow my own inner light.
This both excites me and terrifies me.
While the idea of following my own path – my own inner knowing – delights me as a concept, the reality is that it is sooooo much easier following others’ leads, instead of doing the work to uncover my own light and guidance. But easier doesn’t get me anywhere in the long run – I know this! I have learnt this so many times! But still ‘easy’ tempts me…
And part of me is going, “But I just finished shadow work. I want to look out now” (as if shadow work was ever really finished…)
I have gotten to know myself well enough now to recognise this internal see-sawing – and to know that easy is never the right route for me (sigh!)
And I know what this is about: I keep forgetting that I am already enough.
I wrote on this a few weeks back. And, yes, I’m still struggling. Epiphanies help, but old habits die hard. Very hard.
Becoming enough – reaching the point where I know and remember that I am plenty enough already – is and has been a long journey for me. The Hermit’s light beckons me onwards… Back to my path again. Back to me again.
Because that’s what my path is, purely and simple: being me.
And how absolutely fucking terrifying is that?!
Keeping on walking
So, I return to journalling and tarot and listening to my bones…
And by doing that I return to myself.
While I’ve joked recently about feeling like an infinite onion, I know there are more (there are always more) layers to shed: others’ advice and expectations and ideas of me are the main ones I’m working on right now.
You can lose sight of your real self under all those layers – and they make a heavy burden to carry along the path. Time to put them down, and heed the inner compass, follow YOUR true north (not someone else’s) and keep on walking YOUR way.
This journey to ourselves is not always fun. At times it is heartachingly hard. There will be times you just want to lie down in the snow and sleep forever. Keep your eyes on your hermit’s light. Let that little flame kindle the warmth inside you. And keep on walking. Just keep on walking – it needn’t be fast, but keep on walking.
We can do this.
After all, we are already enough.
💚 💜 💙 💜 💚
P.S. If you want to follow this journey of mine in real time, check out my Instagram – I do a lot of musing and sharing there.
P.P.S. The image on this post is ‘The Hermit’ from the fabulous Numinous Tarot. I am proud to have helped Kickstart this gorgeous inclusive, queer & colourful deck.